Thank you Joe Purdy....

For saying just what I wanted to say but so much better. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he wrote this song just for me.

Just Can't Seem to Get it Right Today

Just can't seem to get it right today,
Just can't seem to get it right today,
Just can't seem to get it right today,
I guess I'm gonna give up,
Oh, I guess I'm gonna give up.

It's nearly been a year since he's been gone,
We still sing his goodbye songs,
And she knows, she should move on,
But she just can't let him go,
No, she just can't let him go.

I'm sorry if I made you made you wanna cry,
Sorry if I made you wanna cry,
You should know, I never meant to hide,
I just hate bringin' you down,
Oh, I just hate bringin' you down.

Just can't seem to get it right today,
Just can't seem to get it right today,
Just can't seem to get it right today,
I guess I'm gonna give up,
Oh, I guess I'm gonna give up.

I dropped my paintbrush in the dirt,
Still numb by just how much I hurt,
I cut my hand, wait for it to work,
I just couldn't bring him back,
No, I just couldn't bring him back.

I just can't seem to get it right today,
Oh, I just can't seem to get it right today,
I just can't seem to get it right today,
I guess I'm gonna give up,
Oh, I guess I'm gonna give up,
Oh, I guess I'm gonna give up,
Oh, I guess I'm gonna give up,
Oh, I guess I'm gonna give up,
Oh, I guess I'm gonna give up,
Oh lord, I said I guess I'm gonna give up,
Oh lord, I said I guess I'm gonna give up.

Now, I'll clarify what I'm going to give up, because the song sounds like its sort of hopeless, but it isn't. I'm going to give up trying to get it right, trying to make everything work out perfect, trying to please everyone, trying to understand everyone, trying to make everyone understand me. I just can't seem to get it right because it can't be done, so Lord, I'm going to give up. I'm going to give it up and rely on the only one who can get everything right all the time, He'll get it right if I trust him, and I do. God has done so much for me from the time Everett passed until now, He's at work in my life and I know He can be trusted. So, thats what I am going to do, I'm going to stop trying to do it all myself, stop trying to get it right and just give it up.

I'm sorry if I made anyone want to cry, by trying to force them to see my pain through my eyes, its impossible for me to show someone just how bad I hurt and how deep I grieve, no one else can possibly know, no matter how hard I try and show them. I'm going to stop trying. I'm going to stop going to others to comfort me in my pain, hoping they'll understand and being disappointed when they can't, I'll leave that to God, blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted!

Katie