Why I do what I do...

Last night, before going to bed, I reached into my bedside table and pulled out a book I've been turning to a lot lately, for advice on how to cope with my current marital situation, and how to love my husband through this tough time. I turned to where I last stopped, and started reading again. This chapter is about cherishing your spouse. It discussed two scenarios, the first being a man who has an older car that is having some mechanical difficulties, after a consult from his mechanic, they decide that the car requires far too much work and money to be saved, so he decides instead to buy a new one. The second scenario describes a man who accidentally crushes his hand at work, he races to the hospital and learns that he has multiple broken bones. He then decides, with some frustration, to pay for every treatment required to restore his hand, he pays whatever the cost and over the next few month he painstakingly returns function to his badly injured hand.

The chapter then goes on to explain, that all too often, a struggling, or failing marriage is often treated like the first scenario, and how often times, when marriage gets rough, we're often encouraged to trade in for a "new model." This is so sad, but not untrue. Marriage isn't supposed to be like that though, it should be treated just like the second scenario. The book goes on to discuss how when we marry our spouse becomes a part of us, like our hand, or a leg, we mesh, physically, emotionally and spiritually. We share a home and a bed, and a name, we truly become "one flesh". So, how then can we just separate when times get tough? We wouldn't just cut off our hand because its broken, so why then do we just walk away from our marriage when it is broken?

The chapter goes on to explain how we are to cherish our spouse as they were a part of us, to love them as we love ourselves, and in turn we will feel loved and cherished as well. And this resonated with me, deeply. This is why I do what I do. My marriage is undeniably broken, and now I need to do my very best, pouring my every resource into nursing it back to health, because its my marriage, and Elvis is my husband, and he is truly as valuable to me as my own hand, I can't do without him.

So, I prayed last night once again, for the strength and the courage and the wisdom to love Elvis right today, and to cherish him right today, and then I prayed that Elvis would feel these things and would be inspired, in some small way, to do the same.

It's been 97 days since I got the news that my marriage was on life support, barely alive, and I'm still persevering, and still hopeful, and still trying to nurse it back to health, so surely God has been in it, hearing my prayers and fortifying me with the strength and the will to keep waiting and keep hoping and keep loving.

Katie